Timothy and the Phubbers by Ken Kwek

Author:Ken Kwek
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789814757980
Publisher: Epigram Books
Published: 2019-05-29T16:00:00+00:00

14

Purgatory

The June holidays felt more like what the Catholics call “purgatory”, a halfway house between heaven and hell, where heaven was a day when no one in the Pong household had an emotional breakdown, and hell was a day when more than one person did.

Mr Pong was a nervous wreck due to the police inquiry into his alleged offence against Miss Chin’s modesty. He was constantly checking his phone for updates from the Investigating Officer.

Mrs Pong and Tara were upset by the thought that Dad could go to jail, and that they might soon have a convict for a husband or father. They spent most of their days either sobbing or shopping, or both at the same time.

Even Christina Aguilera stopped singing upbeat songs and instead switched to tragic Filipino ballads. She rarely had to clean up Casper’s poop from the kitty litter after Casper developed a case of tension-induced cat constipation.

Timothy was relieved he would not have to see Miss Chin again for another four weeks. He wasn’t sleeping well and some nights he’d wake up in a cold sweat, the echoes of Miss Chin screaming, “INTRUDER!” haunting his dreams.

When the misery of the Pong household got too much for him, Timothy asked if he could go and hang out with Rudy and Uncle Russ Tee. Since no parent responded to his verbal request, he went anyway.

“At least you tried doing something about the perhubbers’ phone addiction,” said Uncle Russ Tee, when the boys showed up at his shop.

“Phubbers is pronounced with an ‘f ’,” Rudy corrected him. They had taught Uncle Russ Tee the word and he liked using it whenever he could.

“Ruining the school play was probably not the best approach to the problem, though,” continued Uncle Russ Tee. “Whose idea was it?”

Timothy and Rudy pointed at each other. Uncle Russ Tee chuckled and tossed them a packet of prawn crackers that had passed their sell-by date in 1999.

“Well, it didn’t work anyway,” said Timothy as Rudy chewed on a shrivelled cracker. “They’re even more addicted now and Dad has vowed never to attend any of my school events ever again.”

“That’s classic Tian, all right,” said Uncle Russ Tee, laughing. “Always missing the wood for the trees.”

“Go ahead, laugh,” sulked Timothy. “You don’t have to live with him.” He sat down on a beer crate and flicked at peanut shells strewn across the carrom board.

Rudy finished the prawn crackers and proceeded to nibble on any peanut shells that were flicked in his direction.

Uncle Russ Tee looked at the two boys slumped on his beer crates.

“I know what’ll cheer you up,” he said. “You boys know what vinyl is?”

“No,” replied Timothy. “Wait, yes. It’s a kind of paint, right?”

Rudy thought he heard a gecko chirping but it was actually Uncle Russ Tee going “tchk tchk tchk” as he tutted in disapproval.

“This is a vinyl record,” said Uncle Russ Tee, showing the boys a flat black frisbee that he’d pulled out of a large cardboard sleeve. He placed the frisbee on an old record console and set it spinning with the turn of a knob.

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